Building Self Confidence

Steps on how to build your confidence

Low self confidence usually happens due to lack of experience. Think about when you were a little kid learning how to swim. You didn’t just start jumping in the pool and started doing laps back and forth.. did you? In fact, if you can be honest with yourself, weren’t you a bit afraid of the water?

Confidence comes from repeated successful attempts at doing something—in this case, swimming. In order to swim like a pro, you needed to learn how to not be afraid of the water, and that was just the beginning! You still had to learn how to float, maneuver your arms and legs correctly, and.. well, I’ll stop myself here before this article turns into Pool Lesson 101! 


Learning How To Build Confidence

The best way to build confidence is to put yourself out there, but not in a situation where you will embarrass yourself.

For example, if you had low self confidence in talking to a large group of people, you won’t just put yourself in a situation to where you will be talking to a random audience. That thought alone may even scare you to death, knowing what would happen if things didn’t to go as planned. But that’s the thing, in order to build confidence, you need to put yourself in awkward situations purposely.

Putting yourself in situations where you never been atimage by David Castillo Dominici

Let’s go back to the swimming analog again. (I promise that you did not land on a page about swimming technique!)

As a child learning how to swim, you did not just jump into the pool and started swimming. You went to set your foot in the water first to see how ‘scary’ it was. The same way that is expected when you are trying to talk to a group of people or an audience. Going up to them and talking is like jumping in the water, and you will embarrass yourself this way.

Start Small – Testing Your Confidence

In order to talk to a group of people or audience, you need to test the water. So start small and start talking to a person. You gain confidence this way because each step is so small that it wouldn’t even bother you. In fact, the more of these small steps that you do, the more it’ll add up to where you aren’t even afraid because it is just something old.

Low self confidence comes from fear of failure. Once you repeat something so small like this, you learn to develop a mindset where you are certain of what will happen. To build your confidence, start somewhere where you are willing to start. Remember, you need to face your fear at some point in the future, and the best way to do this is to start small.

Build up each steps in order to reach a big thinglimage by Suat Eman

Getting Out Of Your Comfort Zone

Many times we stay in our comfort zone is because we know what will happen. My question is, how will you know what will happen of you if you never step out of it?

One thing I recommend is to adopt a yes-policy. A yes-policy is whenever someone invites you to go somewhere or to do something, you will say YES! Okay, so you don’t have to scream it out as I made it to be, but you still have to say yes regardless; especially if it is at a situation where you are uncomfortable or that it isn’t really your thing, it is a great opportunity for you to get out of your comfort zone.

We cannot become what we want to be by remaining what we are.

Max DePree

Experience What You Have Never Experienced

Confidence comes within yourself. If you have never experienced something like snowboarding, you will not have the confidence to go down the snow-hill without fear. This goes for everything in life that you do the first time. Of course there is an exception to this, and it’s at the point when you have built your confidence so high that you are willing to try anything without hesitation. But you’ll get there by the end of this article. Anyways, let’s get back to the lesson!

Confidence Is obtained through experiencesimage by pakorn

Remember that by reading about experiences, you will not gain actual experience until you practice yourself. Reading is great and all, but it will only give you knowledge. Start gaining confidence by what you have learned somewhere because self taught experience goes much further than just reading about it all day.

Show Your Talents

Everyone loves doing something. Whether it is a hobby of yours or anything, exceed in it to make yourself stand out. When we have someone proud to show off to others, that also shows how much confidence we hold.

Confidence also comes from achievements because it is the surrender of the outside’s needs for acceptance. When you have proved yourself to be the best at something you love doing, you no longer need to be validated by others, your achievement speaks enough itself.


Remember, you’re braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think.


Amazingly, achievements also has to do with your self-esteem. When you are able to achieve a cycle of positive re-enforcements, it affects how you approach future situations. Earlier I mentioned how there is an exception where you won’t be afraid to experience anything the first time when you build up your confidence. Most of it comes from your self-esteem.

Confidence comes from special abilitiesimage by graur razvan ionut

Wrapping Up Everything About Self Confidence

To give you an overall conclusion, find out what you are afraid of and go out there and do it. There is no other way to build it than to experience it your own self. Reading helps, but reading can only get you so far in terms of reality.

I used to lack in the confidence department because I never got out of my comfort zone. I was always stuck in the everyday routine and as a result, I never had a chance to experience anything new or different. Any new ideas would scare the living life out of me. The tables have turned since then, any new ideas today would make my life worth living because I’m willing to take that risk in order to see new things I might enjoy later on.

To improve yourself confidently, you need to make yourself uncomfortable and adapt to it. Take the risk because you’ll never know what will happen. That is the most exciting thing about life.

featured image: David Castillo Dominici

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One Response to Building Self Confidence

  1. Incidentally, I’ve just posted a similar article on my build confidence site. I agree with you that we have to get out of our comfort zone. This is one of the first steps to getting to the place we want to be.

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