One Step At A Time
There are few things that are wrong with many advices given out. When you ask someone for tips on how to do something yourself, they will generally tell you to just ‘go out there and do it’. Specifically, when you ask for tips on how to develop a better relationship with people, you will get the same response in a way that tells you to go out there and learn on your own.
Although these advices are completely true, the only problem is that the reality is so far from what it really is. How can you just go up to someone and tell them to ride a bicycle if they have never learned to ride one before? In your mind, you know how to balance it easily. You may even perhaps know how to ride one without the handle bars, aren’t you impressive! But for someone who has never learned how to ride a bike, if you tell them to get on one and just ‘do it’, they will be intimidated at the thought of falling over. In other words, they are afraid to fail, and more than likely, they won’t even give it a chance.
In terms of social interactions and such, developing a relationship with someone can be tough, let alone meeting someone new. To overcome these issues, you should always take one step at a time. This means that you should do what you can. So if you can’t ride a bike, you will need training wheels in order to get you started. You can’t fall over and you’ll be willing to at least stay on that bike. The next step is to remove one side of the training wheel (once you become comfortable) so that you’ll be forced to balance on one side. I won’t go into all of the details on how to ride one, but as long as you understand the concept here, you will be guaranteed to become a Motocross pro by the end of the year—maybe!image by paytai
If you’re absolutely terrified with meeting or talking to people, the first step to take is to start small, really small. It can be as small as an eye contact. If you can’t do it with adults or strangers, start with your friends or someone that you’re comfortable around with. Remember, it doesn’t matter who you do it with; whether it’s your brother, sister, mom, neighbor, or your neighbor’s dog—as long as you are starting small where you’re comfortable at, that is what matters.
Once you get to the point of mastering eye contacts, it is now time to smile! Wouldn’t you be worried if you had someone looking at you and not smile one bit? The same goes with the first step, if you can’t smile at random strangers, smile to people you’re comfortable with, or should you resort to, look in the mirror and smile at yourself!
I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward.
Thomas A. Edison
Before you move onto the next step, it should be noted that you always complete step one before moving onto step two. That’s like not knowing how to ride a bike and removing one side of the training wheels already. It may or may not work, but you want to avoid that thought of falling over until you’re comfortable without training wheels.
Now this third step is a big step, but as long as you keep doing step two, you should be ready to move on eventually. This step requires you to talk. It can be to anyone, just as long as they are strangers. (unless you have trouble conversing with your family/friends) What should you say? Just a simple “hello”, that’s it. Whenever you go pay for your grocery or pass by someone, look at that person in the eyes and say “hello”.
Again, you can start out small if needed—even to random dogs if you must. The point is that you’re out there and doing it, because that is where you learn to build social development upon experiences. Chances are, when you have eye contact, smile, and say hello, it’s very likely to lead to further interaction. Even the dog you’re saying hello to will likely respond in some ways.image by photostock
Truth be told, there is no way around it when you want to turn your life around. It isn’t like an on/off switch that will suddenly make you become who you want to be. One of the best thing to gain from reading this is that you start somewhere—somewhere small, so that you can set your foot and go on from there. Whether it is as insignificant as you think, those ‘insignificance’s do add up overtime. No one likes to get out of their comfort zone, it’s like jumping off of a high diving board the first time. You didn’t just run off of it did you?
The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are.
John Pierpont Morgan
Everyone is all afraid of something, but as soon as you learn to overcome it with confidence, you will learn that it is wasn’t as bad. Remember that your fear limits what you want, but really, the sky is the limit. Everything that you do in life is a learning experience. If you want to get over your fears of just about anything, make it a habit by saying “Okay, I will do this today” and from there on, make a check box in your head when you complete it, and advance as slowly or as small as you like.image by Salvatore Vuono
The point of this overall concept is that everyday, you are a better person than the day before, by achieving tiny steps. It doesn’t matter how big or small it is, you want it to be something that you’re willing to do at least! So go out there, and start somewhere, because:
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
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